A lot has happened these past few days.
I faced quite a few challenges, met three people who gave me meaningful help, cried twice in one day—which rarely happens—and have been pushing myself close to burnout.
Through conversations with those three individuals, I learned a lot and found some encouragement. Some of my old worries have eased, and my direction for the future feels a little clearer.
P.S. I don’t cry often—only three other times in the past year: when a close family member passed away, before leaving SAIS, and when someone I admired blocked me (also a first).
Here are some things that happened and a few insights I gathered. Just sharing—everyone interprets things differently based on their own background and experience:
1) Yesterday, I “unintentionally” offended a good friend
—though looking back, I probably could’ve avoided it if I’d been more mindful.
The second time I cried came during reflection, out of regret. Something similar had happened before, but I’d “forgotten the pain once the wound healed.”
I apologized soon after and explained myself, but what she said really struck a chord:
“Those who walk different paths need not travel together.”
“When three walk together, one of them can teach me something. I pick what is good and follow it, and see what is bad and correct it.”
As the saying goes, “There are a thousand Hamlets in a thousand readers’ eyes.”
People understand these quotes differently. What they mean to me now is: everyone has their own path. Even among “three people,” each may see different strengths and flaws in the others.
In the past, I often spoke bluntly—with low emotional intelligence—forcing what I thought was “good” onto others, sometimes even in a lecturing tone.
But just like how older relatives in my family see gift-giving completely differently than my parents or me, people can differ greatly—not just because of generational gaps, but because of different life experiences.
It might be late to realize, but whatever you do, don’t lightly try to interfere in someone else’s life. Everyone experiences things differently. What you think is good may not suit them—it might even hurt them. Even with good intentions, most of us don’t have the right or ability to direct others’ lives, and trying often backfires.
(It reminds me of that phrase so many of us have heard: “I’m only doing this for your own good!”)
“A folded piece of paper will always bear the crease; a broken heart will always carry the scar.”
— Brother Hunzi (author of the “Half-Hour” series, like Half-Hour Cartoon History)
Maybe because of some unique experiences, I find it relatively easy to let go—but that’s not true for most people. I don’t expect others to be tolerant, forgiving, or “understanding”—to grasp my meaning despite poorly chosen words and overlook the offense.
Just because I’ve reflected on my mistakes doesn’t mean I automatically deserve forgiveness. Even if I didn’t mean harm, what happened, happened.
“To know you’ve done wrong and be able to change is truly worthy.”
I’ll do what I can to mend things and be more careful in the future. I still hope we can remain friends.
2) A few things I’ve learned or come to understand
A friend described me as “hard to read—up and down.” I think the main reason is a lack of clear goals, and not taking studies seriously enough.
Two elders reminded me:
“Learning is the fundamental duty of a student.”
“Completing your academic work is a basic responsibility. If you can’t manage that, there’s likely a serious issue with your time management.”
Talking with others drove home the fact that my GPA is the foundation for everything in my applications. If I don’t get serious next year, there may not be a place for me anywhere. (No one said it that directly—but it’s the truth.)
“Interest is the best teacher.”
Motivation comes from interest; force often backfires. So start with what draws you most to something—like picking up a book that aligns with your thinking and is easy to grasp. That makes it easier to keep going.
Live in the present. Don’t dwell on past failures or worry about the unknown. Don’t fixate on what’s objectively out of your reach—it won’t help you move forward. Just know you’re doing what you want to do, and do your best.
“Someday, everyone realizes that jealousy is useless, and imitating others is no different from suicide.”
— How to Win Friends and Influence People
“Don’t simply copy past successes.”
— The New 100 Basics: A Guide to Self-Renewal
Everyone lives their own unique life. Differences in experience and context mean that most “success stories” can’t be copied. You can draw lessons and techniques from your own or others’ successes—but don’t imagine you can replicate them exactly.
Not even if it’s your own past success.
