For the first time in three years, I watched the National Day fireworks from a good spot.
These three years have been marked by many meaningful firsts:
My first time attending a church service, a memorial, a session with a psychologist.
I entered my third—or fourth, if you count from Grade 9—“high school,” and began my formal journey in an international curriculum.
I started writing informal essays, and picked up two lasting hobbies: photography (mostly candid shots) and cycling.
I took part in two Project Week activities, volunteered with the National Library Board and other local organizations, and began to understand a different side of community.
It was also my first time studying “abroad”—experiencing the charm of a nation smaller than Beijing’s Haidian and Chaoyang districts combined, yet so modern, friendly, and convenient.
Along the way, I met many kind teachers and classmates—some of whom became true friends.
There are many more “firsts” and unique experiences I could list, but not all need to be named.
Yet after all this, I still feel lost.
I’m not sure what comes next—no clear life plan, no specific subject I’m drawn to study, no career path that calls strongly to me.
But at least in one regard—seeing the world, understanding the world—I’ve taken a small step forward.
In the future, perhaps through travel or further learning, I’ll come to know a broader world.
Maybe, beyond what we must do to make a living,
the real meaning for now lies in using our remaining time and energy to do what brings joy, purpose, and a sense of value—
to freely explore, learn, and try things for our own growth,
and in doing so, gradually discover what truly moves us.
— Xiao Chen Notes
August 9, 2025, 9–11 p.m.